July 4th, 2024 the day my Instagram died forever. Aramisischoice is a page I’ve had since before you could get the app on an Android. That profile without a doubt will have a lasting impact on my life. There’s a part of me that's sad to know I’ll never be able to log in again. Overall I’d say I'm feeling relieved. I woke up on the 4th and knew I had all day to log in and stop its impending death. I told myself, “If I remember, I’ll log in when I get home”. The clock struck midnight as I got swept into the night running around a park shooting Roman candles at friends.  I knew that moments like that were why I  needed to let it go. 

A dreamer by nature, I dream of a reality in which I never look at the backend of an Instagram again. More than a dreamer I am a man and can be weak so who knows how long I’ll last? As I write to you I’m three days sober from the gram. I relinquished control of my band's Instagram finally and said good riddance. I just don’t wanna look at it. I don't want it to have any more space in my head. I want to work a little harder and know a little less. I’m, striving for a life that's oven-baked not microwaved. I hope this can provide me with a stillness that I can't always locate within the noise of everything. 

I have a lot of questions about this transition. Will I be forgotten? Will I start to look like the guy who still tries to pay with checks at Target? Will this make me happier? I think it’ll take a few months to know. My goal right now is to stay my course and soldier on. I’m curious if I can survive on word of mouth alone. I’ve discovered so many of my favorite things from the simple recommendation of a friend. I’m hopeful this isn’t a flash in the pan and will only strengthen my life. A few days ago someone I hadn't spoken to in months reached out and said they missed seeing me on IG. I guess I’m not as easy to forget as I thought. 

Last night while on a walk with a friend, we witnessed a group of teenagers sneak into the public pool for a night swim. It filled the both of us with so much joy and envy. So much of me still feels that youthful. As you get older people start to whisper in your ear more and more about how things should be in a tone of defeat. Last night I was reminded that in the same way, I never want to be too old to sneak into a pool with my friends, I never want to be old enough to stop dreaming. Things don’t always have to be the way people say. I don’t have to have an Instagram, I don’t have to grow up. I just have to do my best and keep dreaming. 

• Haruki Murakami, The Art of Fiction No. 182: This man's mind is so interesting to me. I’d love to talk to him. 
• The Gloss by Cola: This album just feels good to listen to. It's a great album.
• The Guest by Emma Cline: I finished this book on Friday and I’m still a little salty about the end