I had a friend who used to say, “I just gotta get my mind right” anytime he was about to smoke weed. Every time, he was always being dead serious. He was 32 years old saying this. It was always hilarious to me. AJ was his name and he’d say that before he made any decision. What should we eat for dinner? “Hold up let me get my mind right”. There was a rhythm to it that you began to expect the more time you spent with him. I honestly loved it. At times I wished I could use weed in the same way that he did. This device helped guide him. I like to say that smoking weed is important because it makes me think about stuff I wouldn't think about without it. This is a statement I stand by. However, I could never smoke weed every day let alone in public. 

This story rumbled around my head this morning as I attempted to find an idea worth speaking about. Did I sign up for too much? Writing 500 words a day is not easy. Let alone feeling like you have something important to say. I so desperately wanted to hit the weed and “get my mind right”. Thinking that maybe it would shake something loose in my brain. Instead, I made my coffee and scrolled on YouTube and the 10 websites I now use to get all my information. Now I’m just anxious and still without a thought I deem groundbreaking. Maybe that idea alone is interesting who says I’m to know? Some days you wake up not where you want to be. 

That feeling has always been hard to shake for me. It usually stands in place for a bigger issue I’m dealing with that I haven't realized yet. Could I feel off today because my therapist canceled our session? Could It be that I called out of work for the first time in years today and tomorrow I’m going to do it again? Who knows right? It’s probably part of the reason. I however am starting to feel the withdrawal from living a hyper-connected life. I think that is the thing that's making me feel off. Gone is the excitement of being off-grid. I sit in my empty apartment thirsting to look at strangers on my phone. I can’t and won't but am I making the right decision? 

I came home a few nights ago and looked at my whiteboard. On it, there are ten goals I wrote for myself. As I looked at the list I realized that slowly but surely I was crossing them off one at a time. The newest one I could cross off is “quit social media”. In that moment it felt so good to have let it go. I honestly had forgotten that was even a goal of mine. For that simple fact alone I won't go back but right now I want to. I want to feel close to what's happening but I know what's happening there isn’t real. I guess I just have to continue to soldier on this path of genuine connection. Send me an email. Share something you’re excited about with me. Fuck it give me a call I wanna hear your voice. 

• Curiosa ~ Alaï Landa: What is new to me has already been seen by most. I like this. She looks like someone I’d see in my neighborhood
• RHYS SCARABOSIO: I first heard about Rhys via my friend murrie. I continue to see his work via bands i love. Check out his site. 
• Apartment 3 by Naked Giants: I really love this band and I’m so glad that they're back!